Lousin Mehrabi & The Art of True Negotiation

Today Christina talks to Lousin Mehrabi, a professional negotiator working for AND, an international agency dealing with complex negotiation. In this episode they talk in depth about negotiation and how this works in both business and our personal lives. They also talk about emotional intelligence, fear and intuition.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Everyone negotiates all day every day. With our family, friends and at work.

When Christina bought her business, she didn’t actually recognise that negotiation was a skill. She soon realised that it was and understood that if she had learnt that skill before it would have helped her tremendously. Being aware that negotiation is a skill that can be learnt and developed on is the first step.

In business, rarely is negotiation just about price. There are so many other things that come into play such as marketing, service and value.

Asking yourself why you are negotiating as well as putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, paying attention to body language and asking probing questions can help you learn to negotiate better.

The ‘position’ is what the client says they want. The non-negotiable usually has an emotional link and is very ‘human’. If you can get to this point and understand how it links then you can understand what is ‘at stake’ for them. You can then creatively look at other things that would satisfy that need rather than giving them what it is they first said they wanted.

A lot of people let negotiations go on for far too long because of emotional reasons, such as ego. If you can rationally decide and know who has the balance of power and where you should draw the line this will help you say when ‘enough is enough’.

It is often thought that negotiation is persuading someone of something or selling something. But sales and negotiation are completely different. It’s not persuasion it’s influence. It’s influencing someone’s behaviour.

Lousin has spent her life in ‘male dominated spaces’. It has been a huge growth process for her. Trying to find her place in that world took resilience and to recognise her own advantages and power as a woman and an individual.

Acknowledgement and acceptance are key things in all areas of life, not just in negotiation. Particularly knowing what you can control and what you can’t.

It’s important to recognise the emotional part of decision making as well as the rational. You can’t just get rid of your emotions so it’s better to work with them and know what’s at play. You can turn it into an ally and let it help you.

When death is in front of you, you all of sudden value life so much more. It sounds cliché but it is true. We don’t know how much life we have left.